Lessons In Disconnection


Confession. I spend most of my life “connected,” and not in the way Brené Brown talks about, but in the “plugged into the internets” sort of way. The “you can reach me on my phone, watch, and computer on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook” kind of way. The digital age is an amazing, “connected” time to be alive, but it isn’t without its consequences.

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We can easily connect with people around the world, connect with friends from the past or even complete strangers who share our love of all things Gilmore Girls, but sometimes, we do it at the expense of those who are present in our lives. Sometimes we disconnect from those right in front of us to connect with those online.

I just spent the last 7 days completely disconnected from that “connected” world, at sea, on the Disney Fantasy, with my family. It was the first time in the 11 years of Cents of Style that I went on a vacation without my laptop. John decided specifically on this vacation because I COULD NOT get online, because…well…I was at sea. And as I sit here preparing to get back to my digital real world I realize that I have no idea what is going on in Insta-land or on the news.

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I did, however, connect in these important ways: Bella is learning to love musical theater, just like her mom. I think I need to introduce her to Thoroughly Modern Millie soon. Chase is most at ease when he is playing in the surf and body riding the waves and Ryder is no longer a little baby. Instead he is a kid who says things like, “Mom, I really am too cool for school. Did you know that all the girls in my class chase me? And sometimes I let them catch me!” (His mother looks at him wide-eyed, terrified and hilariously- amused.)

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I feel rested and at peace. I feel more connected and present after 7 days of disconnecting than I have in a long time. I’m connected to myself. I am connected to my children and to my best friend, John. I’m ready to reconnect and allow for the next season. Let’s go.