A Numbers Game

Numbers. We love numbers. We love to follow them, let them tell us others and our own importance.

Numbers on a scale.

Number of followers.

Numbers in the bank.

Number of years since birth.

Numbers at the bottom of a P&L.

Numbers on the waistband of our jeans.

Numbers.

 

I am really good at using numbers as a scoreboard. Allowing numbers to show me the “wins” and losses” in my life at any point in time. It is the competitor in me. Numbers are clean. They provide a snapshot and reference point. Check. Check. Check. I am living life right, if the numbers come out “right.” 

I put my faith into what the numbers tell me... I judge the direction that I'm going in life by what the numbers have to say to me. 

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But I have begun to question my “love” of numbers. The arbitrary symbols with even more arbitrary meanings behind them. Numbers don’t hold value or judgment until we provide them with it. In fact, numbers at any given time don’t tell the whole story. And perhaps, sometimes the numbers lie.

 

Your worth, my worth, does not changed based on the numbers in our lives, based on the fluctuation of the scale or the number of likes on our latest post. Those incidents are outside of us, they are mere circumstance, and our worth cannot change based on circumstances we don’t control. That is a lie we have told ourselves. Our worth is far more infinite and divine than we allow credit. Actually, it is insulting our immeasurable worth to break it down to such commonality.

 

Let’s make a deal. Instead of using numbers as the scoreboard of our life, let’s reframe the question. Instead of asking, “how do these number tell me I should feel? Lets ask, “How do I feel?” How do I feel in these jeans? How do I feel about the work I am creating? Do I FEEL good about it? Does it sit well with me? If we can answer, “yes,” then let’s let the numbers GO- removed their importance from our lies- and revel in that fleeting feeling of infinite, numberless worth.